I love to read, especially
non-fiction. I just finished the
book Quiet by Susan Cain. It was my selection for a book club in
which I participate. We focus on
non-fiction books that help us understand the world and our place in it. My kind of book club!
Quiet is subtitled The Power of Introverts in a World That
Can’t Stop Talking. The author
posits that American culture idealizes extroversion to the point that
introverts are left feeling inadequate and inferior. How can you tell if you are an introvert or an
extrovert? One way is to take the
Myers Briggs personality test (free versions can be found here and here). Another way is to ask yourself how you
feel when faced with the prospect of going to a party where you don’t know any
of the people. Are you excited
(extrovert) or anxious (introvert)?
Although introverts can be good at socializing, they find it exhausting
and they need some quiet, alone time to recharge.
I recently developed another
method for differentiating between an extrovert and an introvert. I call it “the waiter test.” I have a friend who is an extreme extrovert
and whenever we go to a restaurant he befriends the waiter. Don’t get me wrong, I am always
friendly to waiters but this is almost a courtship. By the time we leave the restaurant, my friend knows the
waiter’s relationship status, hometown, favorite pastime, location of the closest
living relative, favorite vacation spot, and plans for the upcoming
weekend. On one occasion we left
with an invitation to the waiter’s cousin’s christening and gift suggestions.
From the book, I learned many interesting
ways that introverts differ from extroverts.
Introverts:
- ·
Take time to think before
they act
- ·
Work more slowly and
deliberately
- ·
Stay on task longer and
give up less easily
- ·
Tend to be more creative
because they are less prone to distraction
- ·
Are more sensitive to
stimulation
- ·
Are less driven by rewards
- ·
Are relatively immune to
the lures of wealth and fame
- ·
Exercise less, but suffer
fewer injuries
- ·
Are usually less
successful in elementary school, but more successful in high school and college
I am definitely an introvert but
I can act like an extrovert in certain situations, a concept that is thoroughly
explained in the book. I can’t
pass the waiter test, though. I
have tried. Recently I put all my
effort into befriending a waitress and I got as far as learning that she had
once lived in the same town where I went to high school. The friendship wasn’t sustainable,
though, and we parted without sharing favorite recipes or the names of our most
beloved pets.
Obviously I have more work to do
if I am going to live up to the American extroverted ideal. Room for growth is a good thing, though. Waiters of the Midwest beware, because
I want to be your friend!
- christina
